If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
