Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
