y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
