Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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