So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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