I will die if light touches me.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
