I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
