I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
