i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
lol hangovers are for mortals.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
