Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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