whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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