So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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