Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
