Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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