3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
