im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize