it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
