Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It's Friday. Sex?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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