You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
