So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
