he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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