i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I am available for nakedness
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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