He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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