Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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