Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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