Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
