Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
