Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
