He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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