She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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