Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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