your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
