My hand turned me down
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize