That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize