My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
