Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you win again, gameday.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize