She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
