drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The feeling are messing with the penis
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
