I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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