Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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