so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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