if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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