So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
