my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
