We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
