God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
