He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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