one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
