sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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