Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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