i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
