Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
