The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
