this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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