another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
