1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
