She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
