We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
operation harelip BJ is a go
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm really busy with my period
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