And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
