I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
