He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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