So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
