On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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