I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
